There are these moments – have you felt them? When you sit back energetically and think ‘how did I get here?’. Like you suddenly remember that you are the main character AND the writer of your story, in that moment.
Just in that moment, at that point in time, you fall out of robot mode. In this moment, the infinite is possible ~ an access point into another reality.
I’ve been reading Gay Hendrick's book “The 10 Second Miracle”.
He says that, in midst of a crisis – “…in that 10s window, how you handle it can make or break a relationship, or even a career… In the 10s after an unfair moment, you have a wide-open opportunity to take the whole conversation in a different direction.”
Which reminds me of Dr John Gottman’s talk on building trust in those ‘sliding door moments’. He says that “they are very small moments, in any interaction, where there’s a possibility of connection or turning away. And if you’re always choosing to turn away, then slowly trust is eroded…”
A 10 second sliding door moment, available in any given moment.
It reminded me of the other night.
You know, there are those fights from time to time, where it escalates. One person trying to up the other person. My husband and I had one of those fights the other night. And it escalated to a point where I suddenly sat on the brink of one of those moments.
What am I doing? Do I want to act this way?
Is my need to NOT be controlled more important than my relationship? (a question that my ego cringes at, since my whole Macrostructural Pattern is founded on breaking free of being controlled).
He had pushed a line, and it was my turn to retaliate.
But I had a sliding door moment. I had a 10 second space to decide whether I wanted a miracle.
I could access it or not.
So… I chose the relationship repair.
I chose to let it go – my deep offence, my ego’s need for respect. Sure, respect is important. But in that moment, was it really about respect, or something deeper? What stories was I telling myself, masquerading as a need for respect?
So, as he waited for my retaliation, I said, “I am not interested in fighting. I don’t want to fight you.”
I didn’t say it righteously. I said it like I meant it.
It seemed to dissolve the charge. Somehow, it led to an in-depth conversation and a deep connection that night.
I even asked him of what I suspect is his Pattern’s addictive stance – to be right. I asked which was more important: to make a point OR our relationship? To which he stopped, possibly had a 10s sliding door moment himself and proceeded to just listen as I voiced my version of reality (but not before he said ‘making a point’ to spite me… haha!).
And this is key…
For those who have had their Pattern mapped out, you know about access points – unique, customised points scattered throughout your Pattern, where you can ‘step out’. Not 'step out' of being involved in your creation, but in the act of sabotaging it.
Which direction do you choose to go – into the pull of your Pattern to destroy the thing you want? Or into a new reality guided by your soul?
Access points are like sliding door moments – and literally are like 10s miracles in that way they warp and change a reality that is escalating downhill. They are times where you have a choice to do something different. Even if you don’t feel like it, even if it hurts your pride.
There are a few types of access points, but I will share 2 here:
· Moments of heightened emotion
· Moments of familiarity (or lack thereof)
Heightened emotions are great access points.
I hear you say, Really?!
But just like heightened emotions can make you lose yourself (to the emotion), so too can you swing the other way. When studying the laws of physics, you might have noticed that the further you pull the swinging ball of the pendulum, the farther it goes in the other direction. If you can have such a heightened emotion where you lose yourself to the lie of your Pattern, so too can it be an access moment of great realisation and opportunity.
And another great access point are those ‘hang on a minute?’ moments.
Either a small series of steps that are familiar to your Pattern – you recognise it happening again, like deja vu. Or a feeling of it being foreign and unfamiliar – like a deep lie. It creates a moment of pause, where you step back energetically and see life for what it is.
For example, I notice my mid-way Pattern energy where I make a request and receive a negative response (usually no response, or mishearing what I say).
Perhaps I now understand my Pattern on an experiential level, so now I can often sense when someone has misheard me (which gives me the opportunity to speak up, or double check, or even request that they do it from scratch – like the cup of Earl Grey that I ordered today). I don’t always catch on without fail, but I do experience those sliding door moments of ‘hang on a minute…?’.
In the past, I would feel victimised and just accept that I was misheard or ignored – there’s nothing I can do about it. Now, I have access to a 10s miracle ~ and I may not always take it (note that the required action may not always be the same) but I do give myself that choice.
Life is a series of cause and effect, fed from multiple variables. Like a fight between husband and wife. Or any other relationship break-down.
And people want to make out they are a victim, it’s easier than considering that you might be a co-instigator. They say, ‘it happened out of the blue’ (be suspicious when you hear someone say that).
And yes, they ‘feel’ they are telling the truth in that. But they don’t realise how they set themselves up to ‘fall’ into that situation. It is all a series of actions and habitual behaviours. And it is those 10s sliding door moments – those moments of pause – this is where you reclaim your ability to choose.
What if perhaps you mixed it up and tried something new?
Tried something outside of your habitual action or behaviours or Pattern. Then, by the law of cause and effect, it will most likely alter the outcome. Maybe better, maybe worse – but at least you’re playing with energy weaving then.
Reality changes, relationship changes, habits change – we are in a state of energy flux, held only by our perceptions of reality and creative energy.
Changing reality and your outer world is not even that important! When you realise that more importantly, you are effectively redirecting your creative energy & by doing that, unlocking your Divine Eternal Essence, your inner Creator, then life really begins. A life with heart.
In those moments of pause, where you stop, ‘wake up’ & act with renewed possibility – here, you create.
You know, there are those fights from time to time, where it escalates. One person trying to up the other person. My husband and I had one of those fights the other night. And it escalated to a point where I suddenly sat on the brink of one of those moments.
What am I doing? Do I want to act this way?
Is my need to NOT be controlled more important than my relationship? (a question that my ego cringes at, since my whole Macrostructural Pattern is founded on breaking free of being controlled).
He had pushed a line, and it was my turn to retaliate.
But I had a sliding door moment. I had a 10 second space to decide whether I wanted a miracle.
I could access it or not.
So… I chose the relationship repair.
I chose to let it go – my deep offence, my ego’s need for respect. Sure, respect is important. But in that moment, was it really about respect, or something deeper? What stories was I telling myself, masquerading as a need for respect?
So, as he waited for my retaliation, I said, “I am not interested in fighting. I don’t want to fight you.”
I didn’t say it righteously. I said it like I meant it.
It seemed to dissolve the charge. Somehow, it led to an in-depth conversation and a deep connection that night.
I even asked him of what I suspect is his Pattern’s addictive stance – to be right. I asked which was more important: to make a point OR our relationship? To which he stopped, possibly had a 10s sliding door moment himself and proceeded to just listen as I voiced my version of reality (but not before he said ‘making a point’ to spite me… haha!).
And this is key…
For those who have had their Pattern mapped out, you know about access points – unique, customised points scattered throughout your Pattern, where you can ‘step out’. Not 'step out' of being involved in your creation, but in the act of sabotaging it.
Which direction do you choose to go – into the pull of your Pattern to destroy the thing you want? Or into a new reality guided by your soul?
Access points are like sliding door moments – and literally are like 10s miracles in that way they warp and change a reality that is escalating downhill. They are times where you have a choice to do something different. Even if you don’t feel like it, even if it hurts your pride.
There are a few types of access points, but I will share 2 here:
· Moments of heightened emotion
· Moments of familiarity (or lack thereof)
Heightened emotions are great access points.
I hear you say, Really?!
But just like heightened emotions can make you lose yourself (to the emotion), so too can you swing the other way. When studying the laws of physics, you might have noticed that the further you pull the swinging ball of the pendulum, the farther it goes in the other direction. If you can have such a heightened emotion where you lose yourself to the lie of your Pattern, so too can it be an access moment of great realisation and opportunity.
And another great access point are those ‘hang on a minute?’ moments.
Either a small series of steps that are familiar to your Pattern – you recognise it happening again, like deja vu. Or a feeling of it being foreign and unfamiliar – like a deep lie. It creates a moment of pause, where you step back energetically and see life for what it is.
For example, I notice my mid-way Pattern energy where I make a request and receive a negative response (usually no response, or mishearing what I say).
Perhaps I now understand my Pattern on an experiential level, so now I can often sense when someone has misheard me (which gives me the opportunity to speak up, or double check, or even request that they do it from scratch – like the cup of Earl Grey that I ordered today). I don’t always catch on without fail, but I do experience those sliding door moments of ‘hang on a minute…?’.
In the past, I would feel victimised and just accept that I was misheard or ignored – there’s nothing I can do about it. Now, I have access to a 10s miracle ~ and I may not always take it (note that the required action may not always be the same) but I do give myself that choice.
Life is a series of cause and effect, fed from multiple variables. Like a fight between husband and wife. Or any other relationship break-down.
And people want to make out they are a victim, it’s easier than considering that you might be a co-instigator. They say, ‘it happened out of the blue’ (be suspicious when you hear someone say that).
And yes, they ‘feel’ they are telling the truth in that. But they don’t realise how they set themselves up to ‘fall’ into that situation. It is all a series of actions and habitual behaviours. And it is those 10s sliding door moments – those moments of pause – this is where you reclaim your ability to choose.
What if perhaps you mixed it up and tried something new?
Tried something outside of your habitual action or behaviours or Pattern. Then, by the law of cause and effect, it will most likely alter the outcome. Maybe better, maybe worse – but at least you’re playing with energy weaving then.
Reality changes, relationship changes, habits change – we are in a state of energy flux, held only by our perceptions of reality and creative energy.
Changing reality and your outer world is not even that important! When you realise that more importantly, you are effectively redirecting your creative energy & by doing that, unlocking your Divine Eternal Essence, your inner Creator, then life really begins. A life with heart.
In those moments of pause, where you stop, ‘wake up’ & act with renewed possibility – here, you create.
PS If you are curious about Patterning and want to find out more (or how it might help you), information is available here.
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