It’s an interesting question and an interesting belief system too.
Likened much to common courtesy and privacy laws in our physical society, this is considered also applicable by many to the psychic and healing arts.
In fact, you will also taste a sense of derision, perhaps judgement – to any of those who might be ‘doing the wrong thing’. You might hear about all the ‘right’ reasons – ethics, boundaries, consent. Like legal jargon.
But how do you know that waiting for permission is the right thing to do, or going ahead with the reading/healing regardless? Truth is that you don’t.
You can only discern the consequences of your actions & act accordingly to the consequences you are willing to accept.
There are always exceptions to the rule. Each individual case is different. What would you do in a comatose case? Wait for them to wake up? Would you consider consent not necessary then?
More than permission, underlying is also a belief about there being a ‘right way’ to do things, being ‘good’, controlling self or not being allowed – there’s something deeper to consider.
It was pointed out to me recently that modern living has taken the transparency out of our community. No doubt this is true.
In the past, we could see someone’s level of wealth & security by the amount of cattle/wives they had. Perhaps their land and house. Nowadays, money is mostly electronic, millionaires can live in shacks and the ‘rich & famous’ could be heavily in debt – no one really can know without looking at their bank account and assets list how wealthy a person really is.
And perhaps this transparency has gone out of other aspects of our society as well. People hide their emotions, hide their physical & mental health issues (if they can), hide their body parts, hide their shameful past/deeds.
Perhaps we want this lack of transparency. We consider it privacy. Maybe it's really just that we don't want to see or be seen.
But, it is also true to say that all information is available to us in any given moment, through intuition (also the internet…!). Energetically, we are never separate, so these lines of physicality and boundaries are bogus. If all information is available to us, and we are, in truth, not separate, then at what point is your energy & information yours or mine. At what point do you need the permission? At what point am I invading your privacy?
If you were to drop the perceptions of separation, you will see that all information about the other person, all that you need to know, is available to you in front of your very eyes at any given moment. Some of the best readings are just pointing out the very thing no one else wanted to notice or say.
And someone’s presence in itself can be very healing. A different attitude can draw out of you the very thing you needed to heal. A listening ear, the right words, a hug when you're at your lowest, etc. If the act of healing was unintentional, natural, organic – does that mean that permission was not needed?
Be a catalyst, not a permission seeker
The real reason that you might provide a reading or a healing is for transformation of the other. It is not about boundaries or ethics or consent – it is about empowering the other, being a catalyst, but not a critical component of the reaction parts.
As a catalyst, you can’t make the reaction happen ~ only by your presence, can you assist and speed up the process. It would happen without you, perhaps at a much slower pace or via another catalyst. But the transformation ultimately falls back on the person undergoing transformation, whether they are conscious of their power or not.
So, don’t get confused.
Don’t make it about consent, ethics, boundaries. They are rules for people who don’t think deeper, prefer not to connect in with a deeper truth. They are for people who want to stay safe, follow the rules, never take the risk to be ‘wrong’.
Stop with the ‘shoulds’ and ‘should nots’ ~ and be present to what’s needed in the situation.
Otherwise, it’s layering on a bunch of more guff that is not needed. We have enough of that already.
It will always get messy, when people aren’t transparent. Especially with themself.
I say, you don’t always need permission – although it is far more powerful to have someone aligned and on board with the reading/healing. It's their transformation, anyway. You can't heal for them, so just be the catalyst.
You have a choice, and they have a choice. Your chances of success are greatly increased with their energy and commitment to their own transformation. That’s actually the tough part, not the healing or reading in itself.
In those moments, rather than falling back on ‘rules of thumb’ of permission and consent, ask instead – are you just wanting to be a saviour? Do you not believe in the person’s innate power to find the healing that they seek and need? What does it mean about you, if they heal?
Don’t be proud of your role in their transformation, but be happy for them and grateful of the opportunity to be involved. Be, instead, proud of your own transformations. That’s far more amazing.
Nothing is guaranteed – follow rules of thumb only when it suits
If you feel that everything you get from a reading is fact and truth, then you are greatly mistaken. There are various levels of truth.
And if you feel that everything you get from science and the medical system is certain and true, then at some point, you will have a shock when your bubble of certainty is burst.
If you don’t think a client influences the reading/healing, think again. All the choices made - choosing the reader/healer (& modality), conveying the problem in a certain way (including abstaining information or providing red herrings), and the level of openness & receptivity – everything influences.
Also influencing is the awareness of the reader/healer, including their very presence, whether they choose to influence or not. Whether they can navigate through sabotage, either their own or their client's.
And nothing is guaranteed.
Perhaps it’s a little disheartening to hear this. There is only probability and chance. But you can influence that probability to a certain tipping point ~ if you are willing. The presence of the right catalyst helps significantly.
I liken it much to a sporting match. There are general rules – these keep a sense of order and communication between opposing parties (both the teams themselves and the factions of the crowd that supports them).
But, if you are an avid sports fan (unlike me, although I do enjoy the State of Origin games), you will recall that there are those decider moments. Where the rules are not clear. Someone has to make a call, which might be the crux point that completely changes the game outcome.
Life is like that. There are general rules of thumbs that work time and time again – tried and tested. And then there are those exceptions. The key is to know the difference, for the best outcome for all.