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Monkey Mind or the Honest Truth

18/5/2012

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You often hear people say that they had  trouble going to sleep last night because of that darn monkey mind or  experienced the frustration of being unable to be at peace after a conflict  (internal or external) that is long past its due date.

And you probably have all sorts of  reasons/theorems why – yet the monkey won’t stop? For me, the monkey mind could run for an hour or for days/weeks – with myself using the same reasons/theorems/excuses to justify this uncomfortable tension and lack of internal peace. Then wondering why that monkey is STILL taking leaps and bounds and peace seems so far away.

Recently, I was in a situation where there was a silly conflict which should have been over in the moment. However, the conflict resulted in weeks of tension and uncertainty of the friendship, although apologies had been made. Why I was still thinking about it in the  shower, 3 weeks later was a real mystery to me because logically it was over and unimportant. By the 4th week, I finally came to the realisation that I was angry - at the friend and the situation. The part of me that resisted admitting I was childish enough to feel anger over something so trivial had nothing to hold onto. Once I admitted the anger, the suppressed anger disappeared and I no longer thought about it. When I saw the person again – it was like nothing had happened on both sides.

Another example is my relationship with drawing my manga (Japanese-style comic). My experience with bringing this manga onto paper has been fraught with struggle and suffering – but also joy and accomplishment. However, the reality was that I spent a lot of time thinking  about it and not a whole lot of time drawing it. I had all sorts of theorems and reasons why (including procrastination, fear of not meeting expectations, not ready yet, etc) and yet the manga was not manifesting. 

Until a good friend (and also accredited coach - search up Kristen Ableson) suggested a completion process which includes a part where you  acknowledge your humanness and your greatness. In acknowledging my humanness – I felt a huge resistance and finally came to the realisation that I had unconsciously been trying to kill off my humanness and show the world that I wasn’t limited. As if being human, imperfect, limited – was a shameful thing. Once I realised the futility of living in the physical plane as a human while trying to be superwoman, I could choose instead to have my humanness and my greatness to work together for the same goal. Now, it has been weeks of drawing my manga most nights – as if there was never an issue. I can actually enjoy the challenges I am faced with this project.

Although I rarely use Bible quotes, everyone knows of the quote (or variations of it) by Jesus: 
And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free (John 8:32 -King James Version – Cambridge Edition).
When I finally surrender to the real truth – that is when I experience true freedom from the monkey mind. Not general truth – but the truth that I had been unconsciously trying to avoid at all costs. Once I ceased that internal fight and accept parts of me that I didn’t want to acknowledge, then peace washes over me. I experience alignment with myself and with the universe, when I settle into just being true to myself.

You can try any exercise or process (or even getting drunk) to give you relief, but if it does not connect you to the core truth that you have been trying to avoid (unconsciously), you will only experience short-term relief, if any. In my experience, nothing works better than a dose of honest truth – with no reason other than this truth brings you wholeness.

So how do you connect to the honest truth that you have been trying to avoid? Honestly, there are so many ways that could bring you to the truth. Or they could lead you on another goose chase after trying to cage that monkey. However, what is essentially vital is the desire and true intention for the truth – even if that means a bust to your ego. Even if that means opening up to acknowledge parts of yourself that you have never want to associate with before – dishonest parts, manipulative parts, worthy parts, limited parts, unlimited parts.
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Once the real truth is realised, the internal conflict ceases to exist – as if it never existed to begin with. Even the monkey can rest. True inner peace is experienced through an alignment of your multitude of selves. This is the true power of truth.

 
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    Leah Foley (Invoke Spirit)

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