And there are so many things that we want to be ideal. Ideal lifestyle, ideal partner, ideal family, ideal job, ideal car, ideal financial situation… and ideal image and ideal health.
The real question is – who determines these ideals? And once you reach these ideals, what then? Will you be happy, satisfied?
For example, think about our societal ideals of health. We have such an intense focus on disease that makes us believe that health is being disease-free, both from a physical and mental-health perspective.
But, at what point when that disease ‘goes away’ would we then consider ourselves healthy?
Think about weight gain (or even the weight loss industry). Perhaps this will give us an ideal to reach… Or not. Who determines what is a healthy weight and what is sexy or attractive?
Btw, a Wii machine calculating my daughter's BMI told her she was slightly overweight at 14 years of age. I was horrified, as she was no such thing and really didn't need a complex.
How do you come to decide that a particular value (in kg or stones) is your ‘ideal’ weight and how far can you trend from this value before it’s non-ideal?
Do you accept the BMI range (if you are in the 'normal' category, you have a 'good' weight, if not, you are a 'bad' weight)... or do you adopt a more body-mind type understanding such as outlined in the Ayurvedic doshas of Kapha, Pitta and Vata (& variations)?
Western-ised ideals of female beauty have changed throughout the decades – from flat-chested roaring twenties, to buxom beauties, to adolescent flower-power girls, to toned supermodels to waif supermodels, to plastic surgery Barbie dolls.
And then other old cultures ~ foot binding in China (deforming feet into the smallest they can be), lip plating in some tribes of Ethiopia, one South African tribe preferred wives that weren’t beautiful (as it caused less discord in the village), or the force-feeding to fatten brides in Mauritania. Who decided these were beneficial, attractive aspects?
I could go on and on with examples and questions.
My point really is that we can strive on and on to meet a self-imposed ‘ideal’ or even a society-imposed ‘ideal’ ~not even knowing where that ideal stemmed from or whether it was even ours to begin with.
We even forget that the ‘reward’ we get for meeting that ideal will be short-lived and rarely what we actually want.
When I talk with clients for medical intuition sessions, I ask them ~ what is the health that they would love. Almost always I get a form of ‘negative visioning’, meaning a vision formed in opposition of what they don’t want – their health condition.
Pain-free, no more rash, ‘perfect’ weight, heaps of energy, no disease…
All their focus in having this ‘disease’ or condition go away. But disease only has a life-form due to its naming definition ~ and while it has its place (meaning that certain symptoms and tendencies can be recognized and dealt with accordingly), it also seems to create a tunnel-vision eradication focus as well. As if we must go into conflict or war with it.
This is not so much about ‘what you resists, persists’ ~ although it strongly does come into play.
It is actually about going in circles around the same problem, never able to move on to something truer because the focus is always on dealing with the agony right now. There is no change in the underlying structure. You are fighting a ghost.
One thing I’ve learnt through being a medical intuitive is that you can’t cheat death or catching a cold from time to time. You can’t avoid illness. That’s not really the point of living.
It’s not about avoiding anything bad happening (or ‘unideal’), but to access the possibility of transmuting your current situation into one that inspires more self-connection, self-reflection and self-truth.
The only reason someone would so desperately want a health condition to go away and never return is because fundamentally they believe they ‘can’t deal with it’. That they don’t have the power to effect the change they want. There’s a powerlessness to a condition or symptoms – which is ironically just yourself.
But what people don’t see is how they effected those symptoms in the first place.
The human genome theory has failed us ~ we use it to believe that there is nothing we can do except wait for our fate. The epigenetic field (such as gene expression affected by environmental influence) is looking to shift that way of thinking, however, human history has shown it can take decades to centuries before new perspectives are adopted.
While it’s wonderful that we are starting to remove ourselves from ‘fate’ thinking, an incongruency still remains with the thought that our genes have so much power over us. If not our genes innate programming, then the environment that we find ourselves in. This overlooks an even more potent power – ourselves.
And in yourself is the power of choice. The power of decision, change of behaviour, discernment and just plain magic!
Potential of health
In my medical intuition sessions, we always have a section where we focus on what I call ‘potential of health’. Far from being a health ideal, it is a potential way of being that is possible at this point in time. It is not fixed or something to spend your life trying to achieve, it is just where your health could be right now.
It can be thought of as an ideal, but it really isn’t. Rather than an ideal, which belies an idea that perfection exists and you must be it, it also isn’t an unnatural construct imposed upon yourself. Your potential of health is natural for you, it is a possibility, but a possibility that is in line with your general constitution, phase of life and life situations.
You also don’t need to be it, if you don’t wish. It’s not a have to have, ‘twin flame’ version of health. It is a suggestion ~ with a high probability of reconnecting to yourself and your truth at this point in time. As time and new variables come into play, so too does your potential of health change and morph.
My father died about 3 weeks ago. It was a whirlwind of events and hospitals. When I found out about the diagnosis of cancer, I of course did a medical intuitive reading for him to see if there was anything that I could tap into. All I really got was an end of life reading ~ where his potential of health was about enjoying these last moments in life, at peace with where he’s come to and a real gratitude for the beauty around him.
This was my first end-of-life reading. It was rather confronting, but also surrendering. It opened my eyes even more so that obtaining health is not about cheating death or disease.
While I saw that he potentially had a few more months to live (with medical intervention), life influences and unexpected variables changed the plan. I won’t share too much on the journey, but it did contain negligent hospital staff, overly cautious hospital staff, a lot of waiting over weekends for weekday surgical procedures, mistakes and medication on a failing liver that all contributed to an earlier end of life than what I received in the potential of health reading.
But, that’s OK. While not ideal, he got his wish to pass on in a somewhat speedy way. At some point, he decided instead that he was ready to go, and that it was no quality of life to be in a hospital waiting and forcing himself to eat, suffer and keep going.
It got me thinking about characters in films such as Darth Vader (Star Wars), or Immortan Joe (Mad Max: Fury Road) ~ using unnatural equipment to continue the breath of life and pursuit of immortality (also, interestingly, world domination).
At what point is the ideal of immortality leading to more suffering?
What is health to you?
Health is not ultimately cheating death, which is the focus of the hospital system, and health is not ultimately a pain-free drugged existence, which is the focus of the palliative care system (aka ‘quality of life’). Although both are necessary and important in our society's health care system.
But, if health is not immortality, if health is not disease eradicated or avoided, if health is not an ideal state to achieve – what is it to you?
Health is your unspoken support ~ when we have it, we rarely notice it… but when we don’t, it is much grieved for.
Health is your relationship with your body – from the physical to the mental realms. It comes about when you are able to listen and meet the needs of your body-psyche, and by that, I mean what you truly need, not what you ‘think’ you might need.
Health brings with it freedom and joy – able to be present with life, in an organic way, allowing your own exploration and growth. The irony is that you can still have these things without health, it’s just a whole lot harder.
And to have more health in your life, it is important to drop the ideals. These ideals are not being present with life, they are imposed. If you were truthful to yourself, they probably are not what you really want anyway. Because what you want is not all about external results ~ satisfaction and happiness can only come from your core.