Get Real With Reality

Sometimes reality is evasive, shielded by our established perception of the world.

A few small recent events have highlighted how we are caught up in our skewed inner-worlds, often trying to force a reality from a model/concept that we hold is ‘the way’. Local campaigning in our area for the sake of a ‘symbolic’ protest. Or explanations at my doorstep of world tragedies through an out-dated religious model. Trying to make reality fit into a model that has been decided ‘how it is/should be’, rather than being with reality and taking obvious next steps. I’m not for or against these people’s beliefs – actually quite neutral. My point is that people are ‘fighting’ for something without taking a reality check. Fuelled by the ‘fight’ and taking action/inaction to the point of forgetting the whole purpose in the first place. This happens everywhere.

I love to dance but I am not a  professional dancer. I go regularly to African Dance classes in Miami (Gold  Coast) with Afrogroove and have a great time learning new traditional dances,  dancing with drummers and socialising with a group of lovely people. Most of all, I love moving my body, getting my body buzzing and bringing my dance to  the next level.

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I remember once there was a free show  organised on Cavill Avenue (Surfer’s Paradise) and my family came to watch. Our  African dance group performed to the drums, getting brilliant cheers from the audience. We left on a high. I felt great, alive, buzzing. Reality hit me in the  car, when my partner offered his opinions on my aptitude of dance. I didn’t get into it enough – another girl was better than me. My buzz was quickly fizzled. Needless to say, I got quite emotional. My high became a low.

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My daughter had filmed the show and  after watching it, I understood what he meant (a week down the track). I took it  personally, making it mean that I wasn’t good enough and am not admirable. That I’m not supported. The truth was that my confidence at the time was not held on  anything solid and therefore it didn’t take much to crumble it. In the end, he just reflected back another aspect of reality that existed on some level. Whether I had to be perfect or good enough was just held in my unconscious beliefs – and I reacted as soon as circumstances threw any clue that it was true in my face.

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Nine months on and looking back, I  believe this ‘reality check’ sprouted forth the next level of dance for me. Sure, reality ‘bites’ but you cannot master anything without a series of reality checks. I am still by no means at professional dancer level – I still lose the beat and feel uncoordinated from time to time. My body can’t do the splits and just doesn’t want to contort to certain positions. But I am always improving, I still love to dance and maybe next show, I will ‘get into it’ more. At the time, it was a complete betrayal. In hindsight, it was just feedback.

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Seeing reality for what it truly is can be like a sharp slap to the face. Yet, for me, it’s become more than just a slap. So many brilliant magical things have happened because of a‘reality check’ – it has now become more like an exotic exquisite taste. A desire for the truth, regardless of the cost to my ego or my pride. I may not like the taste at the time – I still might react and throw ‘a tanty’ – but I always appreciate it in hindsight when it’s had time to percolate like good coffee or age like a fine wine.

Get real with reality. You can’t get to where you want, without getting real with reality. Give up the resistance and allow reality to slap you in the face. It might hurt your pride and shatter your out-dated models but it sure opens up doors to a new future founded on something greater.