Pain, pain, pain – loneliness, misunderstood, used, unloved, left out, - whatever type of emotional pain exists, I probably went through it this month. Actually, maybe I always experience it to some degree – but this month was particularly intense. Painful thoughts and feelings...from childhood...from things in my life that are over...from things that are current now – it all surfaced for me to experience again. 

During the month, I realised that I was trying to come up with explanations to combat the pain. This was a clear unconscious strategy to separate myself and protect myself from the pain. Trying to understand other’s points of view, to work out where I went wrong in the process, to explain it away as a form of karma or a way of life – nothing was helping, so I tried even harder. While washing the dishes one day, the unresolvable thoughts and  feelings were going round and round inside of me and I realised that it just was. It was just pain. So, just being with the pain for what it was – not trying to find an explanation, the pain diminished and I could just be. 

There was a time many years back when I would draw an OSHO Zen Tarot Card every day, to the point where I knew every card. But there was always one card – XII New Vision – where I couldn’t understand what OSHO was talking about. He writes about the bhagavat in the ten directions:

Your inner being, when it opens, first experiences two directions: the height, the depth. And then slowly, slowly, as this becomes your established situation, you start looking around, spreading into all other eight directions. And once you have attained to the point where your height and your depth meet, then you can look around to the very circumference of the universe. Then your consciousness starts unfolding in all ten directions, but the road has been one.

Foundations are fundamentally important! The foundations you are building – for your business, your children, your life – no one can dispute that the quality you put in is the quality you get returned. If you have a sustaining structure, you will find that in the end your vision will happen. If it is unsustaining, then (in the long-term) it will all fall apart. It is so vitally important, yet why do people often not want to go there? 

This was a strange month –everything seemed to come up to the surface and I had to question on many occasions ‘what kind of structure have I set up here?’ It was often quite uncomfortable to see why things weren’t working – and they often led back to me...

When I tuned into the June (2012) Theme, it took me a little while to decipher the essence of it. Actually, it took me several days, with the closest word being ‘Oxytocin’. If you Google Oxytocin, you’ll get several versions of the hormone’s primary function, but a common agreement is that it is the hormone for bonding, including reproduction and childbirth. It is involved in the chemical reactions that produce that warm fuzzy glow in your heart, either after orgasm, cuddling newborn babies or being with loved ones.

There are so many things I want to write after experiencing a month focusing on faith – but I don’t want to write a novel. It was no  coincidence that FAITH was the first theme – because I realise now that faith is the first point of call when healing in the physical, emotional and/or spiritual. It is also the first point of call when desiring a shift in paradigms. Having faith implies acknowledging something is possible, greater than your current limitations. It opens the gate of action, even when all possibilities seem low.