Your inner being, when it opens, first experiences two directions: the height, the depth. And then slowly, slowly, as this becomes your established situation, you start looking around, spreading into all other eight directions. And once you have attained to the point where your height and your depth meet, then you can look around to the very circumference of the universe. Then your consciousness starts unfolding in all ten directions, but the road has been one.
And with this realisation comes a change through my very being. When realisation hits, often it’s like my whole being comes alive and vibrates differently. I understand without having to think or conceptualise.
This month – one of the main highlights for me was a horse whispering session in Byron with Louise (see here for more info). It is an interactive session with a horse through the avenue of natural horsemanship, which unfolds a deeper understanding of yourself.
What I really wanted for this session was to gain a deeper understanding on how I interact with the world & others, plus an added bonus of being able to connect to my neighbouring horses. The new horses were very cold, unlike the previous ones that were very friendly and curious. I missed the interaction.
Now, I already knew these things on some level, but it is much deeper and more holistic to understand it experientially.
Through playing a ring game with Pippa, where I had to get her to run around the outer ring and not enter my space in the centre, I learnt about being clear about what I wanted –especially with myself. I learnt about ways to lead others without watching them, just staying in touch with their energy. I learnt the feeling of when I disconnect. I re-learnt how to play, have fun and bring energy into the game.
Most importantly, I learnt how to claim my space. The whole act was very uncomfortable – several times I wanted to cry. And it was those points where I was shaken up inside, that I knew I was drilling deeper. Internal unconscious parts of me were crumbling – I had ventured deeper to a place I never wanted to go before. This was the most surprising part for me – someone who has done so much work on myself, still discovering things that shake me to my core.
I found myself over the week discovering parts of myself that no longer accepted if someone crossed the line. Actually, I discovered I had a temper – one that would surface instinctively but also defused quite quickly after it had been expressed. And actually, it felt quite good to let it out – whereas before I would just hold it in and feel very victimised (not to mention my throat feeling blocked).
I even played with the walking with my partner/hubby on the beach, connecting to his energy & staying energetically connected – like I did with Pippa. This time, I found he walked with me naturally – I didn’t have to beg to hold his hand or nag. If I walked towards the water, he would instinctively move to follow. It was a beautiful flowing connection without words. (I never told him... I don't think he would be too happy being thought of like a horse).
A couple of weeks passed and I found the horses were ignoring me again. I knew I had gotten too comfortable and had contracted my energy.
In diving deep – there is no end. Like South becomes North, and East becomes West – the depths that you dive becomes the heights that you soar. And in the reaching for your highest heights, your depths become revealed. The separation is only in your mind.
To end this blog, but to open up to diving even deeper:
A monk said to Kyosei, “What is the meaning of ‘the Bhagavat in the ten directions is one road to nirvana’?”
Kyosei said, “In a house, there are not two masters.”